Starting to Get It

Gardening is something I have always wanted to do but pushed aside for a while because I really didn't have the time, space, or money to do much, and I didn't know the first thing about it anyway. As soon as we moved into our house I started dreaming but had no idea where to start. Some times I would think I could do better if I could afford to make a raised bed garden with even rows, or if I lived closer to my family so that we could work together in our gardens, or if my grandfather were here to give me pointers...

I still find the whole idea pretty overwhelming. In this way I think I can relate to Thomas' particular ADHD trait that makes it difficult to figure out how to look past the endless list of questions ahead of me and pick some place to start. I feel this way about lots of things and attribute it to why I tended to procrastinate so much in school; sure, I was lazy, but inside I also wanted everything to be perfect, I didn't want to leave anything out, and I just never knew where to start in order to achieve all that. I still have so many unanswered questions and concerns, as well as fear of failure, mostly because of the money involved, even though I intend to keep expenses to a minimum. However, I've done a little research, and even though that scares me even more, I decided that this year I just couldn't wait any longer. The truth is that I've been handed lots of advice, and if I don't try, I may never learn. I expect to make lots of mistakes, but I have to at least know that I tried.

When I say I'm starting to get it, I don't mean I am even beginning to understand all the ins and outs of gardening, but I now see the draw. I "get" a little of why it is such a popular hobby and how growing a garden is so much more than the work involved, and I can no longer ignore tips on TV or a continuous stream of gardening videos on youtube. It's the joy of watching the miracle of a tiny seed starting to sprout. It's the dream of a great harvest and sharing that harvest with friends. It's working with your hands and getting dirty outside. It's worrying about pests, weeds, disease, light, water, sun, soil... It's learning new methods and sharing all of these things with others. -I'm sure this is only the beginning. After all, all I have right now is a little plastic indoor greenhouse with some sprouts and a garden that still isn't ready for plants. (That part scares me the most.)

Thankfully, though, some of those seeds that I planted just 9 days ago did manage to grow a little bit, plus Thomas has grown very interested in gardening too. No matter what happens, I am excited - and at least a little hopeful. I haven't seen any signs of cayenne or sweet peppers yet, but my tomatoes, spinach, and jalapeños have sprouted, and after thinking about it, I decided I had to have some strawberries, so I used my $10 WalMart reward site gift card yesterday to bring home a container, some organic potting soil, and some strawberries. Planting them today and then looking outside and worrying that maybe I shouldn't have left them out there, in the wind - and wondering what might happen if it rained continuously and they became over-watered - made me feel almost like those seeds had become like little babies to me. Okay, so I'm a little crazy, but it's true.

Have you ever felt this way about your plants? Do you think I'll find any success, or am I too much of a worrier? I'll try to post regular photos of progress, provided there is such a thing... Here's hoping for at least one good crop, come summer!